The Pam and Roy Story
by dcfsproduct
Summary: AU, trigger warning: Abuse, rape, violence An inside look at the relationship between Pam and Roy
1. Chapter 1

Smash!

Smash!

Cups shattered on the wall as customers screamed and ran for cover. Pam sprinted out the door, tear tracks on her cheeks. She ran to her car, fumbling for her keys. Her hands shook as she tried to insert the key into the keyhole. Tears blurred her vision.

"Not again, not again," she moaned. She finally unlocked the door, threw herself into the car and slammed the door shut. She put her face in her arms on the wheel and screamed into the crook of her elbow so that no one could hear.

It was going so well! Everything had been going fine! He had come to hang out with her and her friends, he had never done that before! Her art show, Phyllis's wedding, things were so good! She had finally convinced herself that he had changed, that everything would be different this time. How could she have been so stupid?

Pam slammed her fist into the dashboard and silently screamed. It was a cry of agony and misery. This time was different. This time she was sure it was her fault. She had gone back to him. After everything he had done to her, she had returned to him and look at what happened? Why did she ever think it would be different? How could she have been so naive, to truly believe he had changed?

Pam started her car and drove out of the parking lot of the bar. She turned the radio on to a deafening volume, hoping to block out her thoughts, the images in her head of Roy trashing the bar. The whole ride home, she wiped tears from her eyes and tried to push all thoughts from her brain.

When she got to her apartment, she turned off the car and sat for a while in the drivers seat. Once her breath started to fog from the cold, she finally convinced herself to go in. She needed a long hot shower and she needed to sleep. In her entire career at Dunder Mifflin, she had never been quite so glad that it was Friday. When she reached the door of the apartment, she realized she didn't have her keys.

"Fuck, I must have left them at the office," She groaned. She really exceeded her own expectations today. She looked at the names on the buzzer and pressed the button by Sharon Davis. Sharon was a little old lady who lived in the other apartment on her floor. When Pam moved in, she had given Sharon a copy of her key, in the event that she lost hers. She only hoped that it wasn't too late, that she wasn't waking Sharon up.

"Hello?" came Sharon's voice, crackly through the speaker.

"Hi Sharon, its Pam." said Pam, "I'm so sorry to wake you up but I think I forgot my keys at work and-"

"Not a problem, dear, come on up." said Sharon sweetly, pressing the buzzer to let Pam in.

Pam climbed the stairs to the third floor and knocked softly on Sharon's door. Sharon opened the door, wearing a fuzzy bathrobe and slippers.

"Are you alright, dear?" said Sharon, worry lacing her voice.

"Yes, yes, it's just been a long night," said Pam, exhausted. Sharon handed Pam her extra key.

"You've been crying," said Sharon. "Are you sure you wouldn't like to come in and have a cup of tea?"

"Thank you but I'm so tired," said Pam, "I think I should go to sleep. Thanks for letting me in."

"Not a problem at all. Sleep well, dear, you look like you need it." Sharon closed the door softly.

Pam went across the hall and unlocked her apartment. The first thing she did was cross the living room, take the flowers Roy had given her yesterday and throw them in the trash. Then she went and ran herself a hot bath. As it filled up, she poured herself a glass of wine. She stepped out of her clothes and moaned a little as the bubbles and warm water encased her sore body.

As she lay in the bath, all sorts of memories swirled around her brain.

"_You're cheating on me! I know you are!" Roy backhanded her and she flew across the room and hit the wall. "I see how you look at him!" Roy crosses the room to where she's laying and crouches down so his face in by hers. "I see you encouraging him." he mutters in her ear. Pam whimpers "No! No."_

"_I see you coming on to him!" He bellows. "You think I'm stupid?"_

_Pam interlaces her fingers behind her head and puts her elbow in front of her face to protect herself from him. He pulls her up by her shoulders and with a scream, throws her onto the bed. Pam dodges a blow and rolls off the other side of the bed. _

"_Leave me alone!" she screams. _

_Roy leaves the room, still screaming._

Pam reaches out of the bath and takes a sip of wine. She looks across the background and sees the makeup kit on the shelf below the mirror. It's been a long time since she's had to cover up bruises on her face with makeup. Even the thought of it makes her shudder. She remembers the deep shame and sorrow, like someone was twisting her stomach with a fist, every time she looked in the mirror and saw an angry mark from him.

Insecurities floated in and out of her ears.

"_Why didn't you leave"_

"_Why do you let him treat you like that?" _

"_Any rational woman would be out the door the second her boyfriend lays a hand on her."_

"_You let yourself be engaged to someone like that? For years?"_

She suddenly has a great urge to go find something. She jumps out of the bath and hurriedly throws on a t-shirt and sweatpants, not even spending time to look for a bra or underwear. She goes into her bedroom and goes into the closet. On the floor, under where her dresses are hanging, are several shoeboxes. She crouches on the ground, searching through the boxes. Her wet hair is soaking her shirt and sticking to her equally wet face. She can feel drops of water getting on the floor and she knows she should dry her hair at least but she has such an urge to find it.

Finally, she opens the box she was looking for. Inside is two things. A packet of paper and a white envelope that she knows contains a pair of her underwear. She sits on the floor, leaning against the wall and flips open the packet.

_Blue flashing lights. So many people talking. What is going on?_

_Her brain is pounding away in her head. A man shines a light in her eyes._

"_Ma'am? Are you alright ma'am?" She can't tell if he's talking to her. She closes her eyes._

_The next thing she remembers is a doctor staring down at her._

"_Hi, Ms. Beesley, how are you feeling?" Asks the doctor._

"_I'm- I'm fine." She sits up in confusion. "What happened?" _

"_You were attacked." says the doctor. "We found you on the floor of your kitchen. Your fiance was arrested a block away from your apartment."_

_Pam moaned and sank back into the pillow. A tear rolled out of her eye. _Now everyone will know _she thought sadly._

_The doctor convinced her to do a rape kit, even though she knew that she would never go to the police. She didn't need to, she knew she was done with Roy. She didn't even want to go through the trouble of getting a restraining order, unless he continued to bother her. The doctor was very nice, walking Pam through all the steps. Every part of the kit hurt her, even the non-physical parts like taking Polaroid photos of her injuries and taking her underwear of DNA testing. The only thought she had through the whole procedure was how glad she was that Jim was in Connecticut. She knew she would never be able to hide this type of thing from him. _

There was a wet circle surrounding Pam where she sat on the floor of her closet. Her hair had successfully dripped water all over her T-shirt as she sat and read the summary of the rape kit they had given her. They had also stapled on a Xerox copy of the Polaroids. She stared intently at the black and white images, of her bruised torso and abdomen, at the fingernail marks on her arms and the dark bruising on the inside of her thighs. How could anyone go through that and then honestly believe that their boyfriend had changed? And then go and get back together with him? What was wrong with her?

Suddenly she became aware of a person in her bedroom. She had been so intently focused on the packet that she hadn't heard someone enter the room.

Roy opened the door to the closet and stared down at Pam on the floor, her keys in his hand.

"You forgot these at the bar, babe." he snarled before lunging at her.


	2. Chapter 2

Before Pam could even scream, Roy had his hand completely covering her mouth. He dragged her up from the ground and held her up to his face. Her feet dangled helplessly. He spoke in a terrifyingly calm voice.

"I am going to kill you."

Her eyes opened wide and she started to struggle desperately.

"You're going to feel the pain I felt!" His voice got louder with every word. He threw her on the bed. Pam knew it was futile to fight back. She'd been through enough of Roy's anger episodes to know that it was best to just try and take what was coming. It wasn't the first time he had told her he was going to kill her.

But this time it was different. She was done with him, done for real. He threw her on the bed and sat on her. He kept one hand covering her mouth but he was so much bigger than her that it was actually covering nearly half her face. With the other hand he ripped her shirt clean off her. She started to shake, remembering how strong he got when he was angry.

He stuffed her torn shirt into her mouth and flipped her over on the bed so her back was to him. She tried to fight her way off the bed but he pressed her body down so hard she couldn't move. She kicked her legs and tried to scream through the shirt in her mouth. Roy pulled his belt off and ripped off her sweatpants.

CRACK

CRACK

Pam shook under the hard blows of his belt. She twisted out of his grip and landed on the floor. Roy continued to hit her with the belt, using both arms and putting all his weight into it. Blows landed on her arms, her legs, her chest. She tried to crawl away but he stepped on her face with his boot.

"Stop moving, you bitch! This is what you get!" She realized he was right. Not that she deserved it for kissing Jim, she knew that this was just Roy's insane jealousy. She deserved this beating for truly believing that Roy had changed and for getting back together with him. She was so _stupid!_

With his foot on her face she was unable to move and reverted to curling up in a ball, in a futile attempt to shield herself from his belt. She cursed herself for not putting on more clothing, maybe then it wouldn't have been so easy for him to rip it all off? How could she have forgotten her keys at the bar? Why hadn't she thought of that, and not gone home? She could have predicted he'd show up here if she'd just used her brain.

Roy took his foot of her face and reached down to her. He grabbed her by the shoulders

and pulled her up. Pressing her against the wall he started to kiss her. When he stuck his tongue in her mouth she bit down.

"Ugh! You bitch!" He screamed, grabbing at his mouth. She took the opportunity to wriggle out of his grip. She grabbed her sweatpants of the floor and put them on, then ran for the door. Roy recovered and realized she was running.

"Where do you think you're going?" He shouted. He grabbed her by the hair and pulled

back into the room. He hit her across the face as hard as he could. Still with a strong grip on her

hair, he smashed her face into the mirror, shattering it. Pam fell to the ground, unconscious.

The front door slammed open and police streamed in. Roy was standing over her body, screaming like a man who had entirely lost control.

"Let her die! Let her die!" he shouted, tears streaking down his face. "It's what she deserves!"

It took three cops to wrestle Roy to the ground. Even as they handcuffed him, he continued to shout. In the doorway of their apartment, Sharon stood horrified, with her hands over her mouth.

"I didn't know it was so bad!" she whispered to the policeman standing next to her. "I didn't know, I didn't know! I called 911 because the shouting was so loud and I was worried...Pam has always been so lovely to me, such a quiet polite girl. Oh my goodness, are those…" She leaned in a little closer, not daring to cross the threshold into the apartment. "Are those _belt marks? _Did he hit her with a belt?" she gasped "The _monster_."

"The paramedics will be here soon, ma'am. You may very well have saved this young lady's life by calling us tonight."

Several other neighbors had come out of their apartments to stare as Pam was wheeled down the hall on a stretcher. Pam herself was drifting in and out of consciousness, barely aware of the bright fluorescent lights on the ceiling shining in her eyes and the stretched rolled down the hallway.


End file.
